What are my goals?

I may soon be embarking on a new phase in my life. I have no idea what that will be, but to figure it out, I need to identify my goals. As they occur to me:

to make use of myself, my good fortune, and my skills
to usher India and/or anyone else into responsible, sustainable development
to engage myself creatively in a way that achieves the above
use design to make things happen
to learn from better, more experienced designers
to become a more fluid designer
to take creative risks and to not fear failure
to identify my goals and gain a clear sense of purpose
to erstwhile find and maintain balance in my physical, mental and spiritual life
to rekindle my artistic practice
to play more
to garden
to convince Indian businesses, government, and people of the benefits of sustainable development
to ensure that every building in India be plastered with solar panels
to start an urban garden
to save India from the folly of unsustainable development
to make information accessible
to educate through design
to instill young people with a desire to learn and to serve their societies
to hold babies
to be busy
to be happy

This can happen.

Had a nice chat with my Self today

She is super nice. Extremely mature. But it felt like She was too mature for me to really connect with her or have fun. Then again, I used to think I'd never be able to hang out with my mom. Maybe She'll be sort of like a cool older sister. I should call her more often. I'm sort of a bad friend that way.

What to do

Today, I realized (thanks to a conversation with Jacob Siegel) that the primary struggle I have, especially for the last two years, regards the intersection of the following:

1. What I want to do
2. What I think I should do
3. What I do

Naturally, the more these things intersect, the more satisfied I am with what I have done.

Such a simple idea is, in practice, so insanely complicated for me. But I observe others for whom it appears to happen seamlessly. For me, all kinds of seams. For example, I should be asleep. But I also lament the dearth of posts on this blog, and hate to waste the inspiration. Alas, I go to bed, in order that I have time to meditate in the morning. And maybe divine the answer to this very question!

The Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell

The Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell
Algernon Charles Swinburne


One who is not, we see; but one, whom we see not, is;
Surely, this is not that; but that is assuredly this.

What, and wherefore, and whence: for under is over and under;
If thunder could be without lightning, lightning could be without thunder.


Doubt is faith in the main; but faith, on the whole, is doubt;
We cannot believe by proof; but could we believe without?


Why, and whither, and how? for barley and rye are not clover;
Neither are straight lines curves; yet over is under and over.


One and two are not one; but one and nothing is two;
Truth can hardly be false, if falsehood cannot be true.


Parallels all things are; yet many of these are askew;
You are certainly I; but certainly I am not you.


One, whom we see not, is; and one, who is not, we see;
Fiddle, we know, is diddle; and diddle, we take it, is dee.


Not an inaccurate description of the philosophy..

this is the continuation of the verbal spewage that began last summer

I'm back, folks.

rain rain rain

Today there is flooding. I came into the office after a puja at home this morning, but we probably should never have left the house. I'm heading home now.. my aunt just said there's water in the car.

20. Tailored clothes. It's cheaper to get something made to fit you than to buy it in a store. Or if you all of a sudden decide your pants are too long, the guy down the street will shorten them while you watch him do it.

choti khushiyan

As per Tolu's request, a list (in no particular order) of some of the little pleasures in my life here. I'll continue to add to the list in future posts.

1. Being able to step literally right outside the front gate and buy fruits and vegetables any day any time.
2. Service. No matter where you go, it's someone's job to make sure you're comfortable.
3. Scraping the fruit off the mango skin with my teeth.
4. Not having to worry whether the mango I'm buying will actually have any taste.
5. Walking down the street in a sari and not being the only one (although at work, no one else does..it seems girls here aren't used to wearing them. Now who's Indian??)
6. Going out for a run wearing my shorts and being the only one wearing shorts. And the only one running.
7. Trying to practice Hindi by reading the store signs and painfully recognizing the characters and sounding out the words, and thinking that I don't know what they mean (what is kahlar?) only to realize that it says something like "Color Printing."
8. The ridiculous spellings of English words in Hindi.
9. That every banana is an explosion of flavor. Imagine a banana. Now multiply by ten. That is a real banana.
10. Everyone is 'yaar' (short for 'friend') or 'ji' or 'sir' or 'madam.'
11. The cool, licorice-like scent that fills my breath after chewing fennel after a meal.
12. Sitting under the fan in the living room on a really sticky day.
13. There is a season called the "rainy season."
14. Hearing "I Kissed A Girl" by Katie Perry on the radio yesterday.
15. Banana chips.
16. Watching everyone come and go from the living room window. Also handing things to people through the window grate.
17. Handing the guy clothes for ironing when he comes to drop off freshly ironed ones.
18. Actually ironing my own clothes before I wear them. (I think I've ironed my clothes twice in all my time at WashU.)
19. How cutting people off on the road is not only not considered rude, it is a necessary maneuver and a sign of skillful driving.